“I’ve never told anyone this before.”
There’s a pause….
And the person on the other side of my zoom screen takes a breath… and starts to talk.
Sometimes there are tears, sometimes nervous laughter and sometimes it takes a few more minutes before the truth hits the air.
Sessions like these often centre on ‘clearing’ before we move onto coaching and consultancy. All sessions are an opportunity to get things off your chest, make sense of a situation or rehearse a conversation (people tend to be shy about rehearsing but find it gives them so much confidence when they have the real conversation). Even if you’re really level-headed in normal circumstances or in your professional life, there’s something about divorce which can interfere with clear thinking.
A former coach of mine always says, ‘If you’re in your head, you’re behind enemy lines’. It’s easy to run through worries and concerns on repeat, but this can soon become a vicious cycle with no end in sight. This takes its toll on your sleep, your concentration, your emotional wellbeing and your day-to-day life.
Separation and divorce – and especially high-conflict divorce – typically brings up all sorts of queries and concerns, and it’s not unusual to worry that court might raise a spotlight on skeletons in the closet. Though spectres may loom large in your mind, once shared, you can get a new perspective.
Talking things through can be so powerful – IF you talk to the right person. Sometimes talking to friends doesn’t help, or doesn’t feel right; and sometimes the person you most want to talk to is the only person you can’t (yes, I’m talking about your ex).
I coach because I’m a born empath; because I have lived experience of divorce and family life and I have accrued years of experience of listening to people share their hopes and dreams, fears and secrets. I believe in the adage, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’. Clients tell me I’m wise and non-judgemental and nothing gives me more satisfaction than watching people leave a session with a proverbial lightness in their step (hard to tell over Zoom!).
Instead of running on nervous energy, choose to talk it through and/or take action to move the situation forward. Through coaching I help you to make more sense of your thoughts and feelings. Through consultancy I help you decide on next steps, signposting to other sources of professional support or information as required.
If you are ‘in your head’ and finding it hard to stop worrying about separation and divorce, I’d love to talk. For some people, just one session is enough to stop worry in its tracks and give you confidence in that light at the end of the tunnel: for others a weekly session helps you deal with the issues that crop up day by day and help you shoulder the burden. If you’d like to know more, if you’d like yours to be a problem shared (and hopefully a problem halved), don’t hesitate to get in touch email@example.com